What a year it's been....

It has now been one year since all the scary, stressful stuff began. It was August 1st of last year that I was put on very strict bed rest. We set up a twin bed in the living room so that I could watch movies if I wanted. It was a time of frightening unknowns, but also a time of many blessings. I was able to have Wayne home with me most of the time because his office allowed him to work from home. He was so good to me. Everyday he went out to the garden to get our dinner. We had corn on the cob, tomatoes, potatoes, beats and he would often make fresh salsa. My family stepped in to take care of Bradley so it would be easier for me to stay down. Wayne has been able to give me many blessings over the last year which have helped immensely. I was given a fathers blessing a couple of days after I was put on bed rest. The last time I had my dad give me a blessing was the day of my wedding. It was very special and comforting to have him do that for me. We also had a visit by Wayne's mission president and his wife, Elder and Sister Costa. During his visit he also gave me a blessing which was a tremendous comfort to me. Yes, I had many many blessings. Looking back on it now it seems rather excessive, but at the time I needed every single one to be able to go on. We had so many friends and family members praying and fasting for us during that time. I assure you all that we felt the strength flowing into us from those prayers and your faith.

My dad is speaking in Stake Conference this Sunday on faith and trials. In his talk he mentions Mark chapter 9 which tells of the man pleading for his son to be healed, but he is also asking for help himself, "....if thou canst do anything, have compassion on us, and help us. Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth. And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief." Our family has felt this way many times over the last year, but especially in the beginning when I was on bed rest and when Elli was born. I wondered many times if I had sufficient faith. This is what my dad wrote in his talk about what he has learned over the last year. "I have learned that we may expect too much of faith when we don't understand it. Faith in not a principle that allows one to tell the Lord what to do. In examining my faith I have seen that there is a vast difference between wanting something a lot and having faith. The Spirit is the driving force of faith. When our wishes are one with the will of the Lord we know it by the power of the Spirit. With that witness and assurance, the sincere desire of our hearts is made faith. The desire of our hearts was granted, even when it appeared our prayers were not. (referring to the prayers that Elli wouldn't come early) In this experience we saw the hand of the Lord multiple times and felt the sweet whisper of peace. We saw the skill and goodness of many who fell in love with our little girl right along with us. How great is our joy now as we see little Elliana smile. Elliana means 'My God has answered'."

The last year has had it's share of very difficult days, but when I look at Elli I don't think of those. All I see is the miracle that she is.